On Passwords

Your password must have eight characters, including two numbers and one symbol. 

Your password must have eight characters, two numbers, one symbol, plus an original simile. 

Your password must have eight characters, two numbers, one symbol, an original simile, and a hummable tune. 

Your password must have eight characters, two numbers, one symbol, an original simile, a hummable tune, and its P.E. kit for rounders. 

Your password must have eight characters, two numbers, one symbol, an original simile, a hummable tune, its P.E. kit for rounders, and a mortgage by the time it’s twenty-five. 

Your password must have eight characters, two numbers, one symbol, an original simile, a hummable tune, its P.E. kit for rounders, a mortgage by the time it’s twenty-five, and a signature perfume. 

Your password must have eight characters, two numbers, one symbol, an original simile, a hummable tune, its P.E. kit for rounders, a mortgage by the time it’s twenty-five, a signature perfume, and a relative it doesn’t speak to. 

Your password must have eight characters, two numbers, one symbol, an original simile, a hummable tune, its P.E. kit for rounders, a mortgage by the time it’s twenty-five, a signature perfume, a relative it doesn’t speak to, and an undiagnosed skin complaint. 

Your password must have eight characters, two numbers, one symbol, an original simile, a hummable tune, its P.E. kit for rounders, a mortgage by the time it’s twenty-five, a signature perfume, a relative it doesn’t speak to, an undiagnosed skin complaint, and a brand-new conservatory. 

Your password must have eight characters, two numbers, one symbol, an original simile, a hummable tune, its P.E. kit for rounders, a mortgage by the time it’s twenty-five, a signature perfume, a relative it doesn’t speak to, an undiagnosed skin complaint, a brand-new conservatory, and a repeatable dance routine. 

Your password must have eight characters, two numbers, one symbol, an original simile, a hummable tune, its P.E. kit for rounders, a mortgage by the time it’s twenty-five, a signature perfume, a relative it doesn’t speak to, an undiagnosed skin complaint, a brand-new conservatory, a repeatable dance routine, and a basic understanding of interest rates. 

Your password must have eight characters, two numbers, one symbol, an original simile, a hummable tune, its P.E. kit for rounders, a mortgage by the time it’s twenty-five, a signature perfume, a relative it doesn’t speak to, an undiagnosed skin complaint, a brand-new conservatory, a repeatable dance routine, a basic understanding of interest rates, and an oven glove without scorch marks. 

Your password must have eight characters, two numbers, one symbol, an original simile, a hummable tune, its P.E. kit for rounders, a mortgage by the time it’s twenty-five, a signature perfume, a relative it doesn’t speak to, an undiagnosed skin complaint, a brand-new conservatory, a repeatable dance routine, a basic understanding of interest rates, an oven glove without scorch marks, and a solution to the cost-of-living crisis. 

Your password must have eight characters, two numbers, one symbol, an original simile, a hummable tune, its P.E. kit for rounders, a mortgage by the time it’s twenty-five, a signature perfume, a relative it doesn’t speak to, an undiagnosed skin complaint, a brand-new conservatory, a repeatable dance routine, a basic understanding of interest rates, an oven glove without scorch marks, a solution to the cost-of-living crisis, and a perfectly mown lawn.

Your password is too long. Please return to the login page.

Image via unsplash.com 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

On Collaborative Working (Kingmaker R&D)

Image
 As a poet, I mostly write stuff on my own. I draft a poem, maybe I take it to an open mic, or to my crit group for suggestions, then I polish it up. Perhaps it even gets published somewhere – if I’m very lucky! But I'm used to a pretty solitary writing process.  So, I was a bit apprehensive going into the first week of research and development on a new play I’m working on, in collaboration with director Vivi Bayliss .  Theatremaking is often a collective process – the actors, director and other members of creative team get involved with writing or devising the story – and I was a little bit wary about that aspect of the project.  I – like many creative people – really hate being told what to do.  But, I also knew that Vivi is an excellent director and a very safe pair of hands. So, when I showed up on the Monday morning at the rehearsal space, I was ready to experience a new way of making work.  But I’m getting ahead of myself. What is an R&D in the c...
Read more

On Writing and Re-Writing (Kingmaker R&D)

Image
I’ve just sent two weeks thinking, writing, re-thinking and re-writing. A couple of weeks’ ago, our creative team did a week of research and development , working on the script for a new play that I wrote earlier this year.  By the end of the first week of R&D, we’d removed the interactive elements, improved the narrative pacing, moved the interval, added five new scenes, and completely re-imagined the ending!  All in a week's work!  The next stage of the project is a sharing of the show with industry professionals and invited guests on Friday 6th September. So, I had two weeks to do all the re-writes, before rehearsals started up again.  Given how many notes I’d made, and how many changes we'd initiated, it seemed like a Herculean task. So, I did what I always do when faced with a monumental writing commission. I procrastinated.  One clean bathroom, two mowed lawns, and email inbox clear-out, and a fully-hoovered house later, I figured I’d really better ge...
Read more

On love, dating and biscuits

Image
I’ve picked a silly one to start off the New Year! I recently revised this poem, in the hopes of performing it at SMUT in Nottingham. SMUT is a really cool poetry open mic that focuses on themes of love, sex and relationships. I wanted to read this poem out at their September 2023 event, but I didn’t manage to make it along in the end. So, you’re getting first dibs! Crumbs about two women and the obsession with biscuits that comes between them. Give it a cheeky read, and let me know what you think!  Crumbs  Some women live for football and some women love their wine, some women seem quite normal when you chat them up online.  But this girl wasn’t into kinky sex, or sport, or fashions. No, slightly more prosaic were her own obsessive passions.   The sight of diamonds didn't leave her blinded, like a rabbit; this girl had one fixation – an enormous biscuit habit! Our first date was a little odd – she called me up from Aldi to tell me she was stocking up on Nice and Gar...
Read more